Category: Welcome to the Boob Lounge

Part 7: Faustus Carmichael is the Patron Saint of My Nipples

A double mastectomy is major surgery of a type that I had been fortunate to avoid for all of my 50 years on the planet, if you don’t count an appendectomy at 19 which I don’t because it doesn’t take two months to recover from having an infected quasi-mysterious possible filtration organ removed from one’s body…. Read more »

Part 6: You Will Be Assigned A Buddy

In the Boob Lounge, no one dances alone. Late October in southern New Hampshire is the time when Mother Nature throws her biggest rave of the year, a trance riot featuring the leaves at peak color. Somehow Her party planning committee comes up with a unique and different palate every year, never once phoning it… Read more »

Part 5: Decisions About Incisions

Everything Must Go. On the morning of my 50th birthday party, three weeks after being diagnosed with The Unfortunateness in my right boob, I made a cup of tea and sat down to look at photographs of women who’d had breast cancer surgery. These incredibly brave and helpful women (thank you thank you thank you),… Read more »

Part 4: Decisions About Incisions

October 8th. But first I tell the kids. Have you ever dropped something glass or china and noticed that just as it starts to slip out of your hand, time feels like it’s splitting? I only ask this in the hopes that there are some other equally Klutzy-capital K types out there like me who… Read more »

Part 3: It Sounds Like A Stapler From Hell

October 6. Biopsy day. I did not realize my biopsy experience would come complete with a personal fairy godmother. Or how badly I needed one. I entered Dr. Diane Palladino’s exam room too tired to be nervous about the procedure that would remove a sample of cells from the lump growing in my boob for… Read more »

Part 2: The Feeling Up Begins

Wednesday, October 5th. Boob Mash Redux. The second-look mammogram was quick, thank goodness, and I was quickly escorted next to what I like to call The Ultrasound Experience. They had very kindly warmed the gel/goo they use for EZ gliding of the ultrasound wand, and an extremely intent radiologist was using it like a computer… Read more »

Part 1: Our Intrepid Heroine Receives An October Surprise of Her Very Own

How I Was Crowned The Prom Queen of WTF World Part 1: Our Intrepid Heroine Receives An October Surprise of Her Very Own. October 3, 2016. My plan for the day: routine annual mammogram, lunch with a friend, then bra shopping. Two chores bookending some incentive. I’d neglected the much-needed new bras for far too long, so I… Read more »