When it Comes To Intuition, There is no Threshold for Anxiety

I’m asked consistently how to distinguish what’s fear and what’s intuition. How do we tell the difference?

Fear doesn’t just corrupt our experience of our intuition, it suppresses it entirely. That’s why I nag remind you frequently that if you are anxious or afraid, whatever intuitive messages you think you’re getting, you’re not, actually.

Your first job if you want to have a smooth and connected relationship with your intuition is to make sure you are able to calm yourself when you feel anxious or, if you are feeling fearful all the time, to address it. It is not healthy to live in a constant state of terror. When our world is on fire, our country and the world are in extreme distress, when we learn how people are suffering in ways that are overwhelmingly tragic, we cannot help but feel big feelings. I think it’s actually appropriate to imagine and feel the lived experience of other people (and flora, and fauna) as if it were our own. It’s called empathy, and we are hard wired for it. It’s one of the most exquisite parts of being human.

In most circumstances, the ability to empathize inspires us to be the best version of ourselves.

But it can also immobilize us, especially in the Information Age, where we are exposed to an inordinate amount of messaging, misinformation, and heartbreaking news, all designed to titillate rather than to connect us.

Sometimes after we’ve taken a good hard look at the amount of time and energy we spend trying to manage anxiety, we can often arrive at some very liberating realizations. I’ve coached many people who regularly carry emotions that aren’t actually theirs. Part of intuitive empathy is the ability to pick up our loved ones’ feelings (and strangers’ too!) before we even clock it. This is the very real emotional burden we struggle with in a society that doesn’t understand intuitive empathy, and so we don’t learn how to release other people’s emotional energy back to them. There are skills and techniques that require practice but work quickly, and ensure you’re putting down whatever you pick up. It’s basic intuitive hygiene.

I’ve also worked with people who have mental health or neurotypical issues that make it impossible for them to regulate a stable mood. I am one of those people. I don’t see my ADHD as a disability, not for a second. It not only underpins my intuition, it fuels the creativity and emotional intelligence that makes my life purposeful. But I would never be able to actualize what my brain can offer me without the support I need to help navigate it. The ways ADHD can hijack my ability to direct cognitive pathways, executively function, and stay within emotional guardrails is serious. Much like my eyes that need corrective lenses, I wouldn’t want to leave my brain struggling to cope without the right support.

I have a first hand experience in knowing that in order to definitively trust our intuition, we need mental spaces where we feel grounded. It needs to be our default setting.

Sounds impossible, right? Almost.

In these unprecedented* times, we are perpetually inundated with voices amplifying each new horror, emergency, and each new norm-shattering disgrace. It is even more overwhelming than it’s ever been, and I’ve been coaching people on how to be successfully intuitive in our fear-soaked culture for decades.

But it does beg the question, is the solution to never feel fear? That’s unhealthy. And don’t we need the emotion of fear to serve as a warning system? How will we ever protect ourselves and our loved ones if we don’t stay alert?

It’s a fair thing to ask. Remember that intuition is a calming, grounding, quiet inner voice. On the flip side, fear is screamy. It’s loud, demanding, and filters every bit of information through the filter of catastrophe.

While I think it’s critical to understand that you can’t access your intuition if you’re stressed and afraid, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t ever have concerns. The key is when you realize that whatever your concerns are, your fears are not going to address them appropriately. Your intuition will, always in much more creative and effective ways.

Intuition will also weigh in on whether something is as truly concerning as you’re interpreting it to be. (This is the one time when intuition gets loud, in direct proportion to the risk or danger you are facing). Intuition doesn’t magically erase hard times nor challenges, but it reminds us we’re going to be okay, even when we don’t believe it or have any comprehension of what okay might look like. Intuition is the grounding pause we reside in when we’re waiting for more guidance to unfold.

So go ahead and recognize your feelings. It’s ok to feel fear. It’s human to feel anxious. But managing both is absolutely a priority, especially as we’re walking through this time in our history together.

Holding you in my heart,

Susan

*at this point, unprecedented feels like a curse word honestly. Also, are these times really unprecedented? Or do we say that because we feel so far away from what we would hope is the norm? I don’t think any of us will live long enough in this life to truly understand if unprecedented is accurate. And I’m very wary of using it as a white woman whose immense privilege has insulated me from the experiences of so many others in this country specifically. In the meantime, please let me know what your suggestions for a replacement descriptor might be!